Flight Gobble Gobble

Waiting for my flight with the most insane urge to eat. Like really eat… absolutely everything.

Goodies that I never feel like. The ones I pass without a twinge of desire when I’m at the supermarket. The ones some people hallucinate about. They imagine, these additive filled, adhd causing, neon wrapper covered, sugar filled vomit drops, waving at them… begging to be taken home and eaten. People fall for it, they dive straight into the trap. Those evil little things that cause teeth to rot and spoil children’s dinners. Sweets! Today particularly a whole roll of cola menthos begging me to eat them, each and every last one.

I’m much more the savory type. The occasional chocolate perhaps. But don’t ask me to understand what it feels like to be a woman who is always craving chocolate. Not even at that time of the month. It seems the exception for me is getting on a plane to go somewhere. Not one or two but three Chomps. I wouldn’t  be complaining if it was the bite sized ones. What a cruel little cute hippo.

It hasn’t ended at chocolate and menthos, like seriously haven’t I done enough damage feeding celli (the name I have given my cellutite or cellulite I’ll get if I consume this junk). With blatant disregard for my health, I just continue to scoff… biltong and then the dodgy cabin food they set in front of me while I am innocently enjoying the view from my window seat. As if the pre-flight junk wasn’t enough, I can’t resist the neatly sealed box covered in advertising containing a begillion additional calories, I really don’t need.

In my defence it’s just like a lucky packet and I simply cannot resist them. I dream about them. I very simply love them. Sounds crazy but no need to buy me expensive flowers. As much as I appreciate their vibrant colours, textures and sheer beauty, I am just as thrilled with a lucky packet or a kinder surprise. A kinder surprise for those that don’t know is the chocolate egg with a hidden toy surprise in the centre.

Sometimes I enjoy in-flight meals but this time around it is a bit like ‘do you want some fritata with your salt?’, and as disgusting as it is I shovel it all down, along with the peas and sweetcorn.

By this stage I’m feeling pretty green. At the best of times flying makes me puff up like an air balloon. But I discover a little gem and have to have it. The tastiest cheesecake ever, it is as if it was mixed with the milky deliciousness of a milktart. Thank goodness we landing soon, I think someone is going to have to roll me off the plane.